This was an awesome blog!!
I wish all internet daters would read it...not because it gives a big old dose of reality, but because it could probably save a lot of broken hearts. If you're not willing to leave your photos the way they are (without touching them up) or pad your profile, how will a relationship ever work? The same is true for reality shows like the Bachelor or Dating in the Dark. Self-disclosure is key, and it is often not possible on national television.
To summarize, the blog talked about how self disclosure must be odne the right way at the right time. It is vital for relationships to prosper, and even to be liked in school or at work. If one gives too much information too quickly, the reciever of the information will likely freak out and run ( I have experienced this with guys before. Some just take the "sensitive guy who opens up" role WAY too far...). The same goes for two members of the same sex, just looking to be friends. If one gives her life story and deepest darkest secret, the other probably senses a lack of trust to be had.
Another interesting point was that as serious romantic relationships lengthen, self-disclosure decreases. I have been dating the same guy on and off for 5 years. After about 3 years we had a really hard time talking to eachother and could never figure out why. At the time, my family was entering a rough situation and I think I chose to shut him out. Lacking the self-disclosure we had always had was probably what tore us apart for a while, and I realized that as time went on. This is probably a major factor in divorces as well.
This was a great blog. I think we should all read it because I believe we can all probably relate and maybe even improve relationships if we put serious thought into it!
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I agree with you on this topic. People need to be open with eachother but at the same time not to open. Telling each other things can bring people closer together or tear them apart. If someone is putting up eddited photos of themselves or giving them away they aren't only lying to others. In doing this they are lying to them selves too even if they think they aren't. When they edit these photos you know that they don't accept themselces for who they are which is not healthy for someone. People should be happy with who they are and if they aren't then they should work to change it on themselves not on something that represents them.
ReplyDeleteI think that just about everyone has had all of these experiences. I remember a few different times when I met someone new, but they told me way too much information that I kind of disliked them in the end. When it comes to boys however, its really confusing. Some days a guy really wants you talk a lot about yourself, the next day they don’t really care. On the other hand, opening up to other people can be a positive thing; the problem is knowing how much to share with that person.
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